Don't fear, but trust.

I just finished re-reading Beth Moore's book So long Insecurity. I am hoping to do a group experience with some teenage girls and I wanted a refresher of the book before hand. The first time I read the book the thing that spoke to me most was the fact that the most repeated command in the Bible is "fear not". I think we all would have thought it was "do not sin" or "love one another" but nope, it's "do not fear".  Think about that. The one thing God says over and over again is DO - NOT - FEAR. We live in a society plagued with fear. We fear everything from the big stuff like loosing a loved one to the little stuff like bacteria. It seems the more we know the more we fear. If no one told us they did a study of the bacteria found on the shopping carts at Wal-mart would we all be grabbing those anti-bacterial wipes and wiping down the handles? If we didn't read the newspaper stories of children getting lost or kidnapped would we be giving them "the stay with me so you don't get lost or kidnapped" lecture every time we went to the store? We live in a scary world. Between terrorism attacks, fires, floods, tornadoes, tsunamis, cancer, diseases, sex-traffickers, car accidents, loosing a job, a cheating spouse and the list could go on and on. There are a lot of things to fear. But God says "fear not". He says nothing in this world can separate us from His love. He will see us through any crisis.

So this time as I read it what spoke to me is trust. Do we really trust Him? or have we put conditions on that trust? Do we trust Him to prevent our worst fears from happening? Then what happens if one of them does happen? Do we still trust God? This morning I thought of two examples of extraordinary woman who trusted God no matter what. The first is MaryBeth Chapman. I read her book Choosing to See and was amazed at how God supplied her with the grace to get through what I think is every Mom's worst fear - the death of a child. And I don't know about other Moms but I was always afraid one of my kids would get hit by a car. That they would let go of my hand and run in front of a car or that the big brown UPS truck would not see my kids playing when he drove up.  This is MaryBeth's story. Her youngest daughter was hit by a car driven by her son and she died. Oh how I cried when I read her story. But she made it through to the other side of grief and still trusted in God. Plus she was able to be used by God to show others that we as Christians aren't immune from hardship but we have a God that will carry us and give us the grace we need to see another day. The other woman I thought of was Michelle Dugger from 19 kids and counting. The cameras were recording when she went to that doctors appointment to find out the sex of the child she was carrying. Only instead of happy news they were told there was no heartbeat. I will never forget her and her husbands tear streaked faces when they heard that heartbreaking news. But what did they say? "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." Wow. That's trust. Yes they grieved but God gave them grace.

Both of those examples were about the loss of a loved one but what about other fear? Loosing a job or a cheating spouse? A child that's on drugs or your diagnosed with  terminal disease? Are we still going to trust God? Many people have their faith shaken during times like this. Maybe that's why we are reminded to "stand firm". Either God is good and He is faithful and He has enough grace and mercy to carry us through the hardest of times or He's not. I believe He is.

Where are you?

I have a friend who recently went through the emotions of sending her oldest child to pre-k. It reminded me of when I sent my own daughter to a babysitter for the first time. I remember that horrible feeling of separation. My daughter was not quite 2 so she was younger but I don't think it matters at what age it happens. I have a cousin who had to say good-bye to her 18 year old daughter who was recently married and is moving to Hawaii. I am sure her emotions are just as raw as mine were when my daughter was 2. I'm sure men experience this to some degree as well but for some reason women usually have stronger emotions in these instances.

My sons are alike in many ways and complete opposites in others. We went shopping yesterday and while we were at Best Buy my 8 year old wandered off by himself to play on the wii that was set up. He wasn't worried at all. I ended up scared and looking for him when I realized he wasn't with us. When we were at Pet Smart my 5 year old lingered at the hamsters a little too long as we moved to an isle away. Seconds later the whole store could hear him screaming "Mommy! Mommy!". I had to remind my oldest that he needed to stay where he can see me and I can see him. No need for that reminder with my youngest, he wants to be able to see me at all times.

All of this got me to thinking about Adam and Eve in the garden. I have always imagined God's voice sounding stern maybe even a little angry when he asked, "where are you?". Today as I read my devotional about how God sings over us even when we fail Him, it changed my perspective. I now imagine the voice of a desperate parent who is searching for a missing child. I wonder if the emotions God had weren't similar to the emotions I had when I left my daughter in the care of someone else for the first time. Are his emotions the same each time we turn our back on Him as they are for my cousin whose daughter is moving far away?

Each day we wake up with a choice. We can be like my older son who wanders off to do his own thing and forgets the ones who care most about him. Or we can be like my youngest who desperately cries out to be close to those tho care most about him. Where are you? Are you wandering? or are you desperately seeking to stay close to the Father?

Are we prepared?

With all the excitement surrounding hurricane Irene I kept thinking about these verses. Matthew 16:2-3 He (Jesus) repiled "When evening comes you say, 'It will be fair weather for the sky is red; and in the morning, 'Today it will be stormy for the sky is red and overcast.' You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times."

The past six months has brought some extreme weather. Several tornadoes that devastated many areas and now a hurricane and flooding. In this day and age we ave the technology to predict some of these disasters. Many people evacuated their homes and businesses before hurricane Irene. But before they left everything behind they prepared. They boarded up windows. They did what they could to protect their belongings. They probably brought what was most precious to them, irreplaceable items such as photos, with them.

The past few years have also brought another kind of storm: a financial storm. Some people saw it coming and prepared. Many people were blindsided and unprepared. Others were struggling before the crisis and couldn't prepare. No matter what category you are in, few can say they were unaffected by our nations financial crisis. Fewer still have answers to solve this storm.

In Matthew 24 the disciples ask Jesus what will be the sign of his coming and of the end of the age. His answer includes: deception, wars, famine, earthquakes, persecution, increased wickedness, and the love of most will grow cold. Sounds like a list made after watching the evening news. So I have to ask myself, am I prepared? Am I preparing my children? Can we stand firm until the end.

I am at a point in my life where I can't just "do" church anymore. I can't just get dressed up on a Sunday morning to sing some songs, shake hands, smile, hear a good message and then go home. It's not enough. Verse 45 and 46 of Matthew 24 say"who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the Master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them food at the proper time ? It will be good for that servant whose Maser finds him doing so when he returns." I need to be about my Masters business. I need to be found faithful when He returns. In chapter 25 Jesus continues with the parable of the ten virgins and the parable of the talents. The point of both parables is this: are you prepared?

I don't know when Christ will return but I would be a fool if I didn't think it could happen at any time. Even if he doesn't come n my lifetime, what about my children? or grandchildren or great-grandchildren?Am I preparing them to stand? Lately I have had this scene of urgency. I want to make sure my children are prepared and it's not something that can wait. I want their foundation to be firm and unshakable and I need to put as much time and effort into their preparation as possible.

Several times in Matthew 24 Jesus warns of deception and false prophets and false messiahs. I want to make sure my children know who the real Jesus is. I don't want them to grow up and be influenced by universalism or new age philosophy. I don't want them to be deceived by those who say there is no hell. I don't want them to get confused by those who want to call sin by some other name like a lifestyle choice. I want them to understand that the word of God is eternal, unchanging truth.

There are many reasons why I homeschool but if I had to narrow it down to just one, this would be it - I want my children to be prepared. Prepared for the spiritual battles that they will face. Prepared so they can prepare their children and grandchildren should the Lord tarry. Life is never going to get easier. Persecution and trials will increase. Will we be prepared?

Comparing Ourselves

I learned a while ago to stop comparing my sins to the sins of others. It's too easy to make myself feel self-righteous if I look at others who seem worse than I think I am. Sure I'm no murderer or thief but God knows whats in my heart and He reminds me that I have a LONG way to go. But, recently I thought of another way I compare myself to others and it is just as futile. I compare my problems with the problems of others. We all have something we are dealing with or are going through. It may be financial, it may be health problems of our own or someone we love, it may be relational or emotional but it's something. No one has a "perfect" life, even if that is what some people like to portray. So I find myself comparing my problems to someone else' and most of the time decide that my problems seem small compared to others. It makes me grateful for the blessings I do have but it also makes me minimize my own problems so that instead of taking them before the Lord, I try to take care of them myself. I start to think that God is busy taking care of others who have bigger problems and maybe I shouldn't bother Him. Thankfully God cares about all of our problems no matter how big or how small. He is always willing to listen and He is always willing to help. When we read about Rachel and Leah we can see that God cares about each of our needs and no one has a need too big or too small. If we look at each of these women we could compare their problems and I think most of us would say Leah's were bigger. After all she was the ugly older sister that no one loved. I wonder how the conversation with her father went when he told her his plan to trick Jacob. Did it go something like this "Leah, you know you have no prospects and I really don't see any other way to get you a husband". Did she protest? "but father, he doesn't want me, he wants Rachel". Or, did she think he was right and eagerly go along, hoping Jacob would love her too. How crushed she must have been when Jacob flat out rejected her when he realized he had been tricked. And despite the fact he did work 7 more years for Rachel, he didn't wait that long to get her. She became his wife just one week later. Talk about sibling rivalry. We read in scripture though that God saw Leah and because she was unloved He allowed her to have children. So at this point in the story we aren't feeling too sorry for Rachel. She was the pretty one after all and at least Jacob loved her. After several years of not being able to have children she started to have her own problems, and like we often do she took things into her own hands. She used her maid servant to give Jacob a child. Later we see that after years of watching the women around her be blessed with children, God finally gives her one too. See, God doesn't compare our problems. He doesn't have less concern for me because my problem isn't as big as someone else'. He wants to meet all of our needs and be there to catch us every time we fall and calm every storm that life throws our way. So, if you have been like me, comparing your problems to that of others I encourage you to do what I am going to try to do. Bring ALL my needs and problems to the One who cares and is just waiting to answer.

A broken world

We live in a broken world. Adam and Eve broke it and we can't fix it. My heart breaks for those without jobs who don't know how they will pay this months bills or where their next meal will come from. My heart breaks for those who have suffered through a divorce or disease or death. Sometimes it is easy to loose hope. Sometimes it's easy to forget God is good. It breaks my heart to think that those who are suffering may think that God is getting them back for something they did. It also breaks my heart that those who are doing well think that God is being good to them because they are good. If that is someones view of God then they don't know Him. His love and goodness is NEVER based on what we do or don't do. Are there consequences to sin - yes, but God does not take pleasure in watching us suffer because of our sin. His goal is to show us how to live free. Free from sin and it's consequences. Unfortunately in this lifetime we will never live in a sinless world so we will always be effected by it's fallen state no matter how good we are. But our hope is not in this world. Our goal should not be "happiness" and a life free from all suffering because those are unattainable anyway. We will all be touched by hardships and trials and suffer and mourn. Our hope lies in eternity where there will be no more suffering, no more crying and no more pain. Our hope lies in a savior who loved us and died for us while we were yet sinners. He didn't wait for us to smell good, look good or show up in our Sunday best. He loved us when we were still in the gutter.

Wait and Rest

I always compare my walk with the Lord to my relationship with my children. Many times when I ask them something, I wonder...has the Lord ever asked that of me? Or when I get frustrated with them I wonder, have I done something similar that has frustrated Him? So the other day when I was putting my kids to bed and they came up with all the usual excuses...I'm thirsty, I'm not tired, I need to clean my room (love that one), I started to wonder if there are times when God knows we need to rest but instead of resting we do what my kids do and come up with excuses...but that ministry needs me, but I'm bored, but others will think I'm lazy or un-spiritual. And we ask things like, what am I supposed to do, just wait? And He answers: yes, wait and rest. Why don't we trust Him enough to know He knows the future? Why don't my kids trust me enough to know that I know they will need the strenghth and energy of a good night's rest to accomplish tomorrows tasks? What if God knows that He has a task for us in the future that requires our rest now so that we will have the strength and energy to do what He calls us to do? "Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles.They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31

God looks at the heart

Well, I am going to try this blogging thing again. We'll see how long it last. I plan on homeschooling my children this year so finding time will be a challenge. Let me see if I can explain what is churning in my heart and all the things God has used to get me here. I guess I should start with the fact that I have so far to go and it seems like each step I take illuminates and even longer road. In other words I am so far from "arriving" and each time I realize it I see how far I really am. So, this morning what I have seen is how much fear and worry I have and how little faith I have. Most of the time when I talk to God about this I do what comes naturally...I try to justify it. So let me see if I can explain all the ways He is showing me that I just need to trust Him. I just recently finished reading the book, the shack, and I highly recommend it. One part of the book discusses how when Jesus was on earth although he was fully God he never drew upon his godliness to do anything, instead he drew upon his relationship to the Father and fully trusted Him. This was very thought provoking to me as I had always been taught and believed that Jesus was fully human and fully God...and he was but he chose to limit his abilities. In the book he compares it to a bird who has the ability to fly but chooses to stay grounded. So every time Jesus performed a miracle it wasn't that he was doing it but God doing it through him because he knew God's will and fully trusted Him to do it. I began to think about how much I trust God...or rather don't trust God. Where do I begin? I worry about our finances, my children and their future, my husband, my parents health, my ministry or lack of (I never feel like I am doing enough for the Lord).......maybe you can relate. Anyhow this morning I was reading in Samuel about David's anointing and how God doesn't look at outward appearances but the heart. I thought about how many times I wonder what others are thinking about me. It's that human nature in me that wants to be liked. Then I think about how I protect myself by judging others because of their appearance. Instead of reaching out to people and risk being rejected I stay to myself and make excuses that I'm too busy or they are probably too busy. This happens especially with people who I know that have a lot of family in the area, or seem to already have many friends. I figure their life is full enough. What I realized this morning is that my fear is causing me to be selfish. I am more worried about getting hurt because someone may not have time to be my friend than I am about what they are going through and might need. So, although I have a lot of work to do in a lot of areas when it comes to trusting God, one area I am going to try to do better in is in my relationship with other people. I am going to try to remember that all my needs are met in Him and any support I do get from others is a bonus. The bottom line is if I want to live in His will and fully trust Him, my life needs to be about others, and not me.