Ask first

Having children is one of the most eye-opening spiritual experiences. At least for me it is. Every time I say something to my children I wonder, has God ever tried to tell me that? Like times when I tell them to "be patient", I'm sure He has tried to tell me that or "be quiet", if you know me, you know He has said that plenty of times but lately I have been telling my daughter, "don't help yourself, ask first" and it struck me that maybe the Lord has tried to tell me this one and I haven't listened. I will be the first to admit that finances are my biggest struggle. I have plenty of excuses that go something like this...I grew up in the 80s (the material girl age), I was the baby of the family (I usually got what I wanted) and I have always tried to "show" love for my family by buying the things they want. My husband was the baby too so he isn't much help. We both have to fight the "I want it and I want it now" mentality. So, as I said to my daughter for what seemed like the 10th time in a week yesterday that she had to ask 1st before helping herself to the goodies, I felt that God was saying the same thing to me. I wondered how many purchases we had made without consulting Him and I decided it was most of them. I wish I could say that this will be an easy challenge for me but I have a feeling that just like any other bad habit this too is going to be a hard one to break. So, pray for me, I want to give God glory in everything I do, including the decisions to buy things, things that I need or just want.

Are we listening?

I was just watching the sunset and as I sat there in the cool of the evening I thought "Lord, why can't you come back tonight?" As I pondered what His answer might be I thought about all the people out there that are begging Him to wait. "Please Lord, my son hasn't accepted your love yet, please give him more time." "I know you can come at any time Lord, but please not now, I just told my Mom about you and she was actually sober and I think she understood, please wait a little longer so I can talk to her some more." Then I thought, if He continues to wait because of their pleadings, will He ever come? Will there really be a time when people no longer ask Him to wait because they want to see a lost loved one saved? The Bible says in the end times the love of most will grow cold. (Matt. 24:12) In the list of terrible things that will also happen in the end times 2Tim 3 includes "lovers of themselves, lovers of money, without (family) love, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God." I guess that time is coming but I don't want to be a part of it. As much as I want the Lord to come, I am not ready to live in a world that looks like that. Yes, I know what you are thinking...it already does look like that. True, there has been an increase in wickedness and we can think of many examples of the list above, (if you can't just read the news) but I am not ready to believe that there is no longer people out there who love others enough to beg our Lord to wait. I believe He is listening to their cry, but are we? We are the ones who are called to bring the good news to the ends of the earth, but have we even brought it to the end of our street? I have to admit that I am failing miserably in this area. The other day our pastor asked us if we knew of any unsaved people we could invite to church. I couldn't raise my hand. I am in a Christian bubble right now and I know it needs to pop. I can offer the excuse that I am a stay at home Mom with 3 young children so I don't have a job where I can meet people but I don't think that it's a very good one. Especially since I started a stay at home marketing job which taught me how to share their products with everyone I meet. I learned the right thing to say and how to respond to objections and I practiced what I would say over and over in my head so I could walk up to someone in Walmart and tell them about these great products. Why can't I share my faith with someone at Walmart? Why haven't I practiced how to start a conversation and what to say to show someone not a product but the love of Christ? How many times have I prayed Lord, use me, and then instead of listening to what He would have me do, did my own thing? Were there times when had I listened I could have been used to share with that mother who was begging for son, or that daughter who was begging for her mother? No one knows when the Lord will come back but if we really believe it could happen at any time why aren't we sharing the good news with everyone we know or meet?

Freedom

Sometimes things all fit together and sometimes there are just pieces and they all seem like they belong to different puzzles. That is how I have felt in the past couple of weeks which is why I haven't written much. I feel like I am still learning some things, things that I can't quite share because I'm not always sure I am "getting it".
I have decided instead to share some things that I have learned a while back when I took the Beth Moore Bible study Breaking Free. I highly recommend it. After taking the study I created a Contract for Freedom. The first point in that contract is: I will find freedom to the degree my heart accepts, relies on and responds to the truth in God's Word, therefore I dedicate myself to the study of God's Word so I can enjoy the benefits He has planned for me. Psalms 119 is ringing in my heart. All those verses that speak of the importance of knowing God's Word. The whole chapter is appropriate but verse 32 says: "I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free." David received the freedom that comes from running in the path of God's Word. I hope that I can run the race as faithfully as David did. Freedom is never free, it always requires sacrifice. Am I giving up the "worthless things" that David mentions in verse 37? Or am I letting the things of this world steal away my time which will eventually imprison my heart? Freedom is available but are we willing to pay the price?

Gifts

Spiritual gifts is the topic at my church this month. A friend of mine just shared with me that her church just finished a series on discovering their destiny. I don't know about you but I over think things like this. I start to wonder, what is my purpose in life? What is God's will for my life? What are my gifts? What do I want to do with my life? (What do I want to be when I grow up? since I am only 33!!!!!) As you can see I usually end up with more questions than answers. Part of my Bible study this morning was reading Psalm 119. Yep, that really, really long chapter in the book of Psalms. You wouldn't think of the verses there as a place you would normally look for answers to these types of questions and yet it seemed so clear to me why David was a man after God's own heart. He dedicated every part of his being to knowing and obeying God's Word and then praised God with all he had. I do believe that God has a purpose for us....but I don't think His purpose is for us to find out what our purpose is. I think our purpose is to know and obey the Word of God and then whatever we are doing will be in line with His will. And I do believe we all have gifts but maybe we are too focused on the gifts within us that we end up missing the gifts around us. I have been given the gift of 3 beautiful, healthy children - what am doing with those gifts? I have been given the gift of being a part of the body of Christ by helping in the preschool department - what am I doing with that gift? I have been given the gift of a husband - what am I doing with that gift? I used to get confused by the talents parable because in the Bible it was monetary but calling it a talent always made me think of a talent like drama or singing. If we think of the talents as the type of gifts and blessings I mentioned above it makes a lot more sence to me. (Although I hope he dosen't multipy my husband...I can only handle one of him!)

Purim

This weekend Jewish families all over the world celebrated Purim. Even Madonna and her family, who practice Kabbalah got in the action. For those of you who don't know Purim is a celebration based on the defeat of Haman which prevented the total destruction of the Jews in the book of Esther. I had the privilege of studying this book with my Wed. morning bible study and it would take me a few days to be able to share all I learned. What stands out the most is how many "coincidences" there are. Like a king without a queen because he gets drunk and makes a rash decision to get rid of his current queen. Or I love the fact that the king had insomnia so he had the chronicles read to him and he just happened to hear about Mordecai. There are quite a few more and I would encourage you to read the whole book. I want to point out though that we see the hand of God at work in these details that are spelled out in the book but lets not forget that His hand was working early on. Lets not forget that Esther was taken captive with all the other Jews and they were living in exile in a foreign country. Lets not forget that Esther lost her parents at a young age and was being raised by her Uncle. I don't know about you but I would find it hard to see the hand of God in my own life if I was taken from my home to become a slave in foreign country and both of my parents had died. Yet, if we believe the hand of God was on Esther we need to believe that His hand was on her from the very beginning. We have two choices. We can believe that everything we go through is part of God's plan, even if what we are going through is painful. Or we can believe it is all random and all the pain and hurts of our past are in vain.

I have to make a correction. I was reading the commentary in my Bible and read that Esther and her generation had the opportunity to return home, like many of the exiles did, but for some reason, she and her family stayed. So, she was probably not a slave although they were heavily taxed by the king and did have to work. However all of that does not negate my point but instead makes an even stronger argument that God was in control. Why did Mordecai and his family choose to stay when they could have left? Most of the Israelites that were diligent in their obedience to God and the law of Moses, which it seems Mordecai was, returned home. So, the sovereignty of God is seen again. If they had gone back, Esther would not have become queen and the Jews would have perished.

Daylight Savings

Do we really have to loose an hour of sleep tonight? I get so little as it is with 3 kids under 6. There is usually at least one visitor to my bedside each night and that's if I am lucky. Lately with Cody teething and Colin getting over a virus I have been lucky to get 5-6 hours and now I get to look forward to loosing an extra hour tonight. Yeah:( Can you hear the enthusiasm? I have often kidded with my family that the best cure for insomnia is praying or trying to read the Bible. Am I the only one who feels like the enemy places me in a room full of poppies like in the wizard of oz as soon as I start to pray or read my Bible? Lord help us all! It reminds me of when Jesus was praying with the disciples right before his arrest and He kept finding them asleep. (Mark 14:32-41) If they only knew what was about to happen. I wonder if it would have made a difference. How many times have we heard of a crisis or extreme situation and promised to pray and then forgot? I have to admit there are also times when I have let the enemy defeat me. I have been on a spiritual high and then felt so attacked that I gave up. I thought if I retreat then I won't feel the heat so much. I guess that is why we are exhorted in Ephesians that after we have put on the armor of God to "stand your ground, stand, and stand firm." Retreat is not an option. Giving up is not an option. Falling asleep is not an option. There are too many people who are in a crisis and if we can't stay awake to pray then who will?

Accountability

Accountability. It's not the most comforting of words and for some it may cause trepidation, but oh how necessary it is. It is a word that has come out of my mouth many times in the past few days and so I must ask myself, who am I accountable to? Thankfully I have a great support group of family and friends who love me enough to keep me accountable and I am thankful that the Lord has kept my pride in check so that I can turn to them. Unfortunately I think there are too many people who don't think they need accountability. They think the decisions they make are their own and they falsely believe those decisions don't effect others. In Exodus 20 right in the middle of the Ten Commandments God says "I the Lord am a jealous God punishing the children for the sins of the fathers to the third and forth generation of those who hate me but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." How gracious God is! The harmful effects of sin can effect our grandchildren and great-grandchildren but how exciting to know that our obedience will effect thousands of generations. At my high school graduation we sang the Steve Green song that says "May all who come behind me find me faithful, may the fire of my devotion light their way, may the footprints that we leave lead them to believe and the lives we live inspire them to obey." Those words hold so much more meaning to me now that I have children of my own. I pray my life will be a legacy of obedience so my children can also enjoy the love of the Lord.

first blog

I cannot believe how easy it is to set up a blog spot!! I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts on life, love, children, and most importantly my passion to know and understand the Word of God. In the past couple of years I have taken several Bible studies and I have learned soooo much that I feel I have a responsibility to share what I have learned with others. What a fun way to do that. I hope you will be blessed by what you read and please feel free to express any questions or concerns. I love being challenged!!